Outie '05!!

I moved. this spot is vacant.

But I am having a new house warming party, if you want to come!

www.andropolis.org/gen

So, don't come around here no more.

don't.

don't do it.

I want a Sunday kind of love...

It all started with a wake-up call
from Angie
Hearing the Chicago subway
in the background

Ahhh....

This will be a good day.

Entering the kitchen
with nothing but the need for
Coffee
on my mind

Baby snores from
the Richard
asleep in the family room

Caitie
in her normal paper reading position

The suprise of seeing
Melon
in the basement
when I thought she was gone

Andrew
sleeping
and sleeping
he is still sleeping

The call from
Noah
that ends up with
him on the way over here
RIGHT NOW!!

Melon
On the mission to make sure
we are all well fed on
this glorious morning

A house full of
lovely wonderfull souls

Shayan
and his endless supply of tape

Joni
Starting the soundtrack for this
lovely day.

"Help me, I think I'm falling
In love again..."

Life is going to be good again.

I thank God for this.

I am lucky.
Blessed.

I love my family.
My friends.

small hope

With misty eyes
I view the world.

With hope
I hold on tight.

With my heart
I find it hard to
Feel.


I can only
Carry on.

Motion.

Lost in a vast sea of confusion

going down, down, down.

How can these weak hands
Ever make a change?

With hope
I hold on tight.

With blessed souls
Surrounding me.

Blessed souls on earth
And circling me from the heavens.

I can feel a indication of light
Shining on my shivered soul.

With hope
I hold on tight.

With hope...

Shmangela

So, if you look at my "illustrious souls" list, you will see that there is a new addition. One that makes my soul sing and my heart dance with joy!

Angela has a blog.

Now, she will need to familiarize her self with the "ways of the blog" before we see much action, but that should not stop you from visiting her "amongst the tree tops" and giving her your shout out of love. Cuz, you know that you love her. I know that I do.

So, anyway, time for sleep and dreams and thoughts of a time not so far away when I get to be in the same room with Shmangie-face at NEBY! WOOHOO!

--genika

SCORE!!!

Opportunity Analysis
Math
Human Relations
Marketing
Public Speaking

These things rock.

I started school today.

a-ma-zing!

I am sure to be extremely busy with loads of homework and projects, but boy am I ready!

I knew that I was going to like it, but I had no idea how amazing my classes and my professors would be! It is all starting to make sense now.

I am getting my degree in Business Entrepreneurship so that I can own my own rocking business. I want to do Event planning… but the idea of owning my own coffee shop is what I am really brainstorming right now. I mean, come on. How perfect would that be!! Right up my alley. An interfaith coffee joint called “Spiritual Joe”. If you laugh, you make me cry. Believe in me.

So, anyway, this day has lightened my spirits and made me feel goal oriented and energetic. I already have a couple hours of homework to do, so, I will go do that at Starbucks. The soon to be run out of business Starbucks…

...cuz Gen -to the- Z is takin’ it ova, fool!

ouch.

The retreat is over.

This brings great relief to my mind.

It was a wonderful time. Amazing to say the least. Yet, I feel as if I wasn’t even there. I feel like it was all one quick blur. I have tried to reflect back on it as a whole, and find that I only have vague pictures in my mind.

I went into it hoping that it would make me temporarily happy. That being surrounded by 45 shiny happy luck star youth would ease my mind. However, it turned out to be harder. I just wanted quiet. Peace. And I am afraid that I was less help then I could have been. I was just plain out of it. I had to fight every minute to keep myself together to keep from bursting into tears.

I am still in another realm. It is hard to keep the motion going when your soul is sick and sad. I am having a difficult time placing my feelings and knowing where to go. What to do. I am having a hard time trying to go along with life while I know that there is a little soul out there that is hurting so. That soul is not given the chance to fly. It doesn’t know real love. Doesn’t know what it is like to be safe and truly taken care of. This is so painful. This little sweet face has plagued my mind.

I don’t really know how to function anymore. I find myself pretending that everything is fine. Pretending that I haven’t witnessed one of the most brutal sides of humanity. But all that I really want to do is cry and hide my face. Forever.

I feel the whaling of the world through every inch of my being.

I wish that I was better at showing my emotions. I used to be better at it. Somewhere along the way, I let it go. Now, I am harder. More reluctant to let myself be vulnerable to others. It is sad when you really just need someone to be there to hold you.

Now, here I am. Expressing all of this on a blog that I know many of my friends will read. Silly. They can read it here, but I can’t express it when I go upstairs into a room filled with lovelies.

I’ll be ok.

Bliggity Blah....with at least part of a happy ending

So, after the worst experience in my 26 years of exsistence, after the grim reality of the darkness that our world holds in its hot little hands, after being sickened and angered, after a long night plagued with evil dancing ruthlessly through my emotionaly tired mind and not much sleep...

Where do you go? What do you do?

I am functioning in a very cloudy bubble. Dread. The feeling of helplessness. It is vast and unfailing.

My biggest struggle in life is not being able to save the world 'with my own two hands' in a time crunch. Like... right this very minute.

Paralized.

I don't think that I am ever going to be the same person again. In time, this will, God willing, become a positive change. But for now, it is a harsh taste of the underbelly of mankind. Shown to me for what? I haven't figured that out completely yet. Time.

Prayers are a wonderful and powerfull thing.

--Genevieve

PS: I also got fired.

THANK GOD!!!

Peanuts and chocolate

There is nothing like getting stuff done. There is nothing like getting stuff done with people that you really like. There is nothing like a good consultation that has an amazing outcome. There is nothing better then seeing peoples minds and thoughts meld together into a beautiful picture. There is nothing better then sleeping when it is so desperately needed. There is nothing better then getting time with a good friend. There is nothing better then feeling loved. There is nothing better then being stressed over something that is inspiring. There is nothing better then working hard on something you know will be powerful. There is nothing better then knowing that you get to see 34 amazing souls in 4 days. There is nothing better then knowing that education is right around that corner. There is nothing like knowing you get to go to NEBY fest. There is nothing like a good talk with your momma. There is nothing like good food. There is nothing like good coffee. There is nothing like life.

There is nothing like overcoming tests and seeing the amazing view of the mountains that lie ahead of you. There is nothing like knowing that even though they will be rough, you can accomplish anything.

There is nothing like it. Nothing.